Thursday, October 13, 2016
Mmmmm...pie
Sometimes the inner fat girl in me really wants to buy a pie or box of Hostess somethings at the grocery store and go home and eat the whole thing by myself in one sitting. I've yet to give in to this desire, but sometimes I stare really hard at the desserts in the Safeway bakery and think about what it would be like.
Monday, October 3, 2016
Squishy
Phew...sure is dusty around here after being neglected for so long! ;) Not that this will be read by anyone other than myself, I mostly just needed to get some thoughts down about my fitness and health.
I'm on the downward slope to turning 40...less than six months to go. That's so weird to me...40. I remember when my mom turned 40 (we had a surprise party for her at my grandparents' house, and I almost blew it when I called and asked her to bring some toys for her friend's kids because there wasn't anything for them to play with), and I do not seem as old now as she did then. I guess technically I have a few months until I'm at that point, but it still doesn't seem feasible that between now and March I'll suddenly feel as old as my mom seemed then. No offense to my mom. I was 12 when she turned 40, so of course she seemed old.
I feel like healthwise I'm in this weird rut. I really hate when I'm lazy and make poor food choices and see and feel my body getting squishy instead of being firm or even just not quite as squishy. Yet I really just don't feel like I have the motivation or drive to do anything about it. The best I ever looked in my life and the fittest I ever was, was a few years ago when I'd work out with a group of my friends pretty much every day. I was spending close to two hours at the gym at least five days a week plus training for various races I'd be doing, and I counted every calorie that went in to my body. I looked awesome, but it was pretty exhausting. I don't really want to be at that place again (plus at the time I had at least one kid home with me, so working out for two hours was a nice break. Now both my kids are in school all day, so spending two hours at the gym means less time I have to myself while they're gone.) because it was a lot of effort, way more than I'm willing to put in right now. But I also don't want to be squishy and hate how I look when I turn the big 4-0. How cool would it be if the best I ever looked was when I turned 40?
I don't know. I need some kind of a plan. Ideally the plan would be having a personal chef and trainer at my disposal whenever I wanted so I didn't have to come up with healthy meals and cook said healthy meals and then also have someone to motivate me to get my squishy ass to the gym and do something about the squish. As I sit here typing this, I would normally be getting ready to head out for my Monday morning volleyball. Realistically it's not a great workout as it's a bunch of moms around my same age playing volleyball in the gym of the local LDS church, but it's fun and something different. We don't wear booty shorts like they do in the Olympics, there's rarely any diving for the ball, although sometimes there are only three ladies per side so that makes it a decent workout on those days. Today there weren't enough people, so it was cancelled. My first thought was, "That's probably better because now I can go to the gym and get a better workout in." Now I'm kind of tempted to go back to bed for awhile. I have to take my oldest to the dentist in the middle of the day, so I need to leave by 11:30 to get him on time. I have three hours from now until then. The gym is five minutes from my house. I'm already dressed to go, I just need to actually get my squishy butt there. Bed sounds a lot better.
See? What's wrong with me? I completely overindulged this past week, and I can tell by looking in the mirror. I know I need to go to the gym (also partly because my husband and I are starting a bet to help us be more motivated to get to the gym and make healthier choices), but the physical act of going seems so meh. I couldn't decide what to wear to church yesterday and thought about jeans because it was rainy and kind of cold, but I was scared to try and put on any of my jeans. That's not cool.
I also need to meal plan because I'm going grocery shopping after the dentist appointment today. I'm tired of meal planning. I'm tired of figuring out dinners for my family and making sure we eat our veggies and have salad and make well rounded choices. I'm tired of making lunches and trying to give my kids healthy choices and then not get discouraged when the grapes and carrots come back home, like they just went on a little field trip to see what school looks like and then come back home to hang out in the fridge until maybe someone eats them or I throw them out because no one ever did. But then I circle back to being tired of being squishy, so what's a girl to do. She has to buck up and plan dinners and keep feeding her family veggies and sending her kids healthy choices in their lunches, even if they end up trading them for Pringles or fruit roll ups or come back home untouched. This has been extra annoying lately because my husband has been traveling for work. I don't necessarily mind him traveling for work, but I don't really like making dinner when he's gone. My kids are by no means picky eaters so it's not like I'm making stuff that they just won't eat, but I still don't like putting in a whole lot of effort when it's just the three of us. Also because I'm the only one around to help with homework and pick up after sports or other activities, so I can't be doing all of that and spending a ton of time prepping dinner unless I do it earlier in the day. For the past couple years I'd been really good about limiting the amount of processed food we eat. Somehow that's been slipping. My kids have had Lunchables I don't even know how many times in the past few months, my husband bought them Hot Pockets at one point, and they were totally in love. They've also been introduced to Totinos pizzas, Bagel Bites, and pizza rolls. We even had Oreos and Twinkies in our house at various times. Seriously, I don't know when the last time has been I bought so much crap food. Our soda consumption has increased, our junky food in general has increased. I got lax and now it's been a slippery slope to eating like crap. My 10 year old complains pretty often that his stomach hurts, which I'm sure directly relates to the increase of crap food he's having. I need to get us back on track. I need to be motivated so my family can be healthy.
Hopefully the husband and my bet of getting in five workouts a week in which we burn at least 300 calories a time will help. Hopefully a Caribbean cruise for my birthday is the carrot dangling on the stick I need to get back on track. Hopefully wanting my family to be putting healthy, nourishing foods into their bodies will help me want to meal plan and make good food choices for all of us. Hopefully I find some kind of workout plan that makes me want to go to the gym instead of me going and putting in the barest minimum effort possible just to say I went and got it done. Hopefully after I finish doing the dishes I was too lazy to do last night, I get my squishy butt to the gym and actually do something.
I'm on the downward slope to turning 40...less than six months to go. That's so weird to me...40. I remember when my mom turned 40 (we had a surprise party for her at my grandparents' house, and I almost blew it when I called and asked her to bring some toys for her friend's kids because there wasn't anything for them to play with), and I do not seem as old now as she did then. I guess technically I have a few months until I'm at that point, but it still doesn't seem feasible that between now and March I'll suddenly feel as old as my mom seemed then. No offense to my mom. I was 12 when she turned 40, so of course she seemed old.
I feel like healthwise I'm in this weird rut. I really hate when I'm lazy and make poor food choices and see and feel my body getting squishy instead of being firm or even just not quite as squishy. Yet I really just don't feel like I have the motivation or drive to do anything about it. The best I ever looked in my life and the fittest I ever was, was a few years ago when I'd work out with a group of my friends pretty much every day. I was spending close to two hours at the gym at least five days a week plus training for various races I'd be doing, and I counted every calorie that went in to my body. I looked awesome, but it was pretty exhausting. I don't really want to be at that place again (plus at the time I had at least one kid home with me, so working out for two hours was a nice break. Now both my kids are in school all day, so spending two hours at the gym means less time I have to myself while they're gone.) because it was a lot of effort, way more than I'm willing to put in right now. But I also don't want to be squishy and hate how I look when I turn the big 4-0. How cool would it be if the best I ever looked was when I turned 40?
I don't know. I need some kind of a plan. Ideally the plan would be having a personal chef and trainer at my disposal whenever I wanted so I didn't have to come up with healthy meals and cook said healthy meals and then also have someone to motivate me to get my squishy ass to the gym and do something about the squish. As I sit here typing this, I would normally be getting ready to head out for my Monday morning volleyball. Realistically it's not a great workout as it's a bunch of moms around my same age playing volleyball in the gym of the local LDS church, but it's fun and something different. We don't wear booty shorts like they do in the Olympics, there's rarely any diving for the ball, although sometimes there are only three ladies per side so that makes it a decent workout on those days. Today there weren't enough people, so it was cancelled. My first thought was, "That's probably better because now I can go to the gym and get a better workout in." Now I'm kind of tempted to go back to bed for awhile. I have to take my oldest to the dentist in the middle of the day, so I need to leave by 11:30 to get him on time. I have three hours from now until then. The gym is five minutes from my house. I'm already dressed to go, I just need to actually get my squishy butt there. Bed sounds a lot better.
See? What's wrong with me? I completely overindulged this past week, and I can tell by looking in the mirror. I know I need to go to the gym (also partly because my husband and I are starting a bet to help us be more motivated to get to the gym and make healthier choices), but the physical act of going seems so meh. I couldn't decide what to wear to church yesterday and thought about jeans because it was rainy and kind of cold, but I was scared to try and put on any of my jeans. That's not cool.
I also need to meal plan because I'm going grocery shopping after the dentist appointment today. I'm tired of meal planning. I'm tired of figuring out dinners for my family and making sure we eat our veggies and have salad and make well rounded choices. I'm tired of making lunches and trying to give my kids healthy choices and then not get discouraged when the grapes and carrots come back home, like they just went on a little field trip to see what school looks like and then come back home to hang out in the fridge until maybe someone eats them or I throw them out because no one ever did. But then I circle back to being tired of being squishy, so what's a girl to do. She has to buck up and plan dinners and keep feeding her family veggies and sending her kids healthy choices in their lunches, even if they end up trading them for Pringles or fruit roll ups or come back home untouched. This has been extra annoying lately because my husband has been traveling for work. I don't necessarily mind him traveling for work, but I don't really like making dinner when he's gone. My kids are by no means picky eaters so it's not like I'm making stuff that they just won't eat, but I still don't like putting in a whole lot of effort when it's just the three of us. Also because I'm the only one around to help with homework and pick up after sports or other activities, so I can't be doing all of that and spending a ton of time prepping dinner unless I do it earlier in the day. For the past couple years I'd been really good about limiting the amount of processed food we eat. Somehow that's been slipping. My kids have had Lunchables I don't even know how many times in the past few months, my husband bought them Hot Pockets at one point, and they were totally in love. They've also been introduced to Totinos pizzas, Bagel Bites, and pizza rolls. We even had Oreos and Twinkies in our house at various times. Seriously, I don't know when the last time has been I bought so much crap food. Our soda consumption has increased, our junky food in general has increased. I got lax and now it's been a slippery slope to eating like crap. My 10 year old complains pretty often that his stomach hurts, which I'm sure directly relates to the increase of crap food he's having. I need to get us back on track. I need to be motivated so my family can be healthy.
Hopefully the husband and my bet of getting in five workouts a week in which we burn at least 300 calories a time will help. Hopefully a Caribbean cruise for my birthday is the carrot dangling on the stick I need to get back on track. Hopefully wanting my family to be putting healthy, nourishing foods into their bodies will help me want to meal plan and make good food choices for all of us. Hopefully I find some kind of workout plan that makes me want to go to the gym instead of me going and putting in the barest minimum effort possible just to say I went and got it done. Hopefully after I finish doing the dishes I was too lazy to do last night, I get my squishy butt to the gym and actually do something.
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